Loose Cannon
Last weekend, I rode laps down Main with Maddie, for no reason at all, other than to maybe see if we’d see someone we knew.
‘Why are there so many people down here right now? What is the occasion?’ Maddie asked aloud.
I half shrugged before she answered herself with ‘life is the occasion.’
It’s true that when you’re a girl and the sun is shining and you have no Saturday plans with your best friend (outside of an oil change): life is the occasion.
I always appreciate how small talk has fallen off of MB and I’s ‘to-do’. We get together and we’re instantly engaged in problem solving — first, by coordinating our calendars, and then, by making a meal. This keeps my brain running at a comfortable pace.
And with her, I started fleshing out an idea about myself recently. I saw a tiktok (I know!) where a vegan lady was saying that, to her, it’s okay to be vegan and still eat bacon, because committing to veganism outside of eating bacon is more impactful than doing nothing at all.
To me, this feels inline with so many aspects of my life — the way that I’m type A to the bone but my license is expired. And so is my plate tag. I’m sober but I’ll go out with my girls once in every blue moon. I’m independent, and always have been, but I love my role as a wife more than anything in the world. I run a tight ship but I’m a loose cannon.
Much of my time between the ages of 18 to 22 were spent trying to appeal to people who were never going to like who I was anyways. I’ve found that it’s true — so much of your twenties is about stumbling through finding yourself. As cliche as it sounds, I feel like I’m slowly uncovering pieces of me every day. I’ve figured out what colors look best on me, what type of books I prefer, how often I like to leave the house… and those little notes about myself feel so big just because they’re mine.
Thank you for listening, thank you for caring, thank you for loving me.
I love you too!
HM